Women should discover themselves before marriage — Rev. Christie Bature

Reverend Christie Bature has advised young women to prioritize self-discovery and purpose before getting married, warning that rushing into marriage at a young age can lead to challenges later in life.

Speaking on a recent episode of The Fearless Woman Podcast, the minister said she does not get excited when women in their early 20s tell her they are getting married because many are still discovering who they truly are.

According to her, while there is nothing wrong with dating or meeting a potential partner early, marriage requires a level of maturity and self-awareness that many young people have not yet attained.

"The human brain is not fully developed till 26. Some of the stupid decisions our children take, it's not because they want to be stupid. It's that the brain is not fully developed," she said.

Rev. Bature explained that many women who marry at 18, 19 or 20 are still growing into their identities and may later discover that the person they married is no longer compatible with the person they have become.

"Girls married at 18, 19, 20, they don't even know who they are. As they're growing, they're growing into themselves. They suddenly realize that the person they married doesn't have the capacity for who they are. Then the battles begin," she said.

Sharing her personal experience, the cleric recalled watching several women in ministry abandon their dreams and purpose after marriage. Determined not to lose her calling, she prayed for a husband who would recognize and support her God-given assignment.

"I told God, if You will have me married, please bring a man that will recognize what I carry and will fan it to the highest flame it can be," she revealed.

Rev. Bature said she eventually stopped searching for a husband and focused instead on pursuing her purpose, adding that her future husband later met her while she was hosting an outreach programme.

She urged women not to put their lives, dreams or ambitions on hold while waiting for marriage.

"Get into the business of who God called you to be before you marry. Don't dim your shine on your way, saying, 'When I marry.' What did he meet you doing?" she said.

According to her, marriage should complement a person's purpose and growth, not become the reason they lose their identity.

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